Assistance
by QianYun
Summary: [ByaRen] It had to be through some extremely odd twist of fate that he found himself hanging upside down outside his captain’s window.Or just his friends messing with him.


**Title:** Assistance  
**Author:** QianYun  
**Pairing:** Byakuya/Renji**  
Spoilers:** Semi-teeny hint of spoiler of SS arc. Only decipherable if reader already knows what happened.**  
Summary:** It had to be through some extremely odd twist of fate that he found himself hanging upside down outside his captain's window.Or just his friends messing with him.**  
Notes:** Second writing attempt in the Bleach fandom and Byaren following. The first doesn't really count as it was a really pointless piece of smut. This is pointless too, but I had fun. So any comments would be appreciated. (Posted at byaren lj community as well)

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Assistance --- QianYun 

He slammed down the sake bottle and slurred a little in trying to make his friends understand his blight, "Taichou," he hiccups, "taichou doesn't understand what it means to relax, y'know?" He tipped the bottle onto his lips and tried to suck out the drop of liquor that was tempting him from the very edge of the opening, squinting one eye comically to peer into the bottle. He continued with his monologue in heavy thought, "Not at all like you guys, yeah? So stiff and uptight all the time, he wouldn't," he burped a little, "wouldn't know what a good time was even if it hit him in the face."

Hisagi and Kira glanced at each other through the corner of their eyes as their redheaded friend continued, "Although, it would be such a shame if it did. Such a pretty face. All white and shiny and crap. You really have to wonder," he heaved a little sigh and gave up on the empty bottle, "if he uses that moisturizer goop that Rukia brought back for him."

Kira hesitantly spoke, interrupting Renji on his spiel about his captain, "And you would know about Kuchiki-taichou having moisturizer because… Why exactly, Abarai?"

As a response, Renji looked at Kira bewilderedly, "Rukia told me all about it. She was really happy, y'know, that Kuchiki-taichou was finally warming up to her. Told me on and on and on about everything they do together at the mansion and what not. Y'know," he reached out to grab Hisagi's bottle and succeeded thanks to Yumichika's appearance, "if it weren't for the fact that she told me she really loved him as a brother, I would have to wonder about her getting a little too obsessed over Kuchiki-taichou."

The newly-instated ninth captain turned around, forcing his eyes _away_ from the eleventh division's fifth seat to snatch his bottle back before even a drop could make it pass the vice-captain's lips, "She's not the one you should be worrying about obsessing over Kuchiki-taichou."

Another bewildered look crossed Renji's face, only this time it looked at little less together than before, "Really? Who else is obsessed over taichou?"

By coincidence, Yumichika and Ikkaku had passed their table to order some alcohol and caught the statement; the fifth seat looked at the drunken red-head in disbelief and chuckling, "The one who's most obsessed is the one sitting right in your seat, Renji."

Upon hearing this, the man straightened up a little and looked around him and down at his chair before a confused expression crossed his face and he uttered a little "huh?" as the pretty boy from the tough-love eleventh division walked off with a, "my god, can he get any more stupid about Kuchiki-taichou", dragging the bald-headed one from the thug-like eleventh division, deliberately walking with a sway, knowing that the tattooed man from the newly re-organized ninth division was still staring at him.

Wow, that was a mouthful.

And Renji apparently agreed, as he passed out from over-thinking and 'thunk' went his head against the table.

Kira could only roll his eyes and smile at his two companions before jerking Hisagi's sleeve and gesturing towards Renji. "Want to do something about his obsession before it throws both of us into insanity?" He smiled a little when Hisagi's only response was an offhanded nod, his eyes still trailing the flamboyant shinigami who was now walking back to his table the longer way to avoid the drooling man- Renji, that is. With a little sigh and a snicker to himself, he patted Hisagi on the back a little too hard and spoke as if the man didn't just nearly fall over, "Hey, help me with Abarai. I know what to do with him."

The blonde was usually oh-so-polite to his superior, but Hisagi's fawning was getting a little ridiculous and Renji's obsession was getting a little aggravating. So he decided to do something about both of the issues.

But Renji came first since he was drunk, unconscious and easily prone to emotional manipulations.

-

Renji groaned a little as a stream of light hit his sensitive eyes and caused a streak of pain to hit his brain. He muttered to himself softly as his rubbed his hand over his face, "God, I'm never going drinking with the guys again. Hangover is not worth it." Of course, this was what he said every Friday night.

Then he furrowed his brow in thought, keeping his eyes closed all the while; something had occurred to him quickly, yesterday wasn't Friday because today was Friday. That meant last night was Thursday, which meant today was Friday, which meant he had his vice-captain's duties to attend to, and shit, he just knew he was already late.

In that train of thought, he jerked himself up, not really noticing he was kind of up already and without any warning, he had flung himself up and off the branch he had been perched precariously on and whoops- now he was upside down, hanging by a rope on his foot.

"What the-"

And he would've said more if it weren't for the fact that even the knowledge he was hanging upside down did not distract him from noticing his whereabouts. More precisely, he noticed exactly who was capable of seeing him in this position. A string of curses ran through his head as he further noticed the reiatsu signature that he could feel emanating from just a mere few feet from where hi s head was faced.

During his fall, he had closed his eyes in the moment of vertigo and nausea, but now he slowly peeled one eyelid up – or down, in this case – and true to his suspicions his sight confirmed what his spiritual senses had already told him. Arms crossed, uniform perfectly creased, hair settled and gaze stern, Kuchiki Byakuya - Renji's _captain_ (and not-so-secret obsession) – stood at the wide opening of his office window, watching the antics of his unruly subordinate silently.

"Tai-taichou. It's… some great weather we're having today! I just thought that it would be a good time to hang around and admire the view?" Renji trailed off, his bizarre statement turning into an even more bizarre question.

As per usual, Byakuya did not offer a comment on the odd situation, merely raised an eyebrow in question.

"I don't know how I got here, taichou, I'm sorry for interrupting your work and for," here he glanced at the sun to confirm his suspicions, "being late to work." He winced a little at the thought and quickly did a hanging sit-up to untie himself.

"Hold that position for a little while, Renji."

Startled, Renji jerked a little, but did he best to remain as he was asked to. A murmured "hmm" brought his curiosity up a spike, but he couldn't do anything until his captain told him to. He was in enough trouble as it was, he couldn't afford more. Although his head was throbbing so terribly. The hammering going on in his head nearly distracted him- but not enough – to miss Byakuya calling his name.

"Renji."

With a jolt, he brought his head back in an uncomfortable position of trying to remain folded in mid-air and looking at his captain at the same time. He was sure it was this awkward position that made him hallucinate an amused smile lingering on Byaku- Kuchiki-taichou's lips.

"Let go." And with nothing else but that, Renji let himself flop back into an upside down position, wincing at the blood rush as he did so. There went the little hammers inside his skull.

Upside down, his captain looked a little less stern, a little less imposing, but the reiatsu he could feel bounded tightly to his body was strong enough for him to be unable to relax completely.

"You… went out drinking last night?" Byakuya inquired lightly, "With your friends, Hisagi-taichou and Kira-kun?" At the hesitant nod, he continued, "And perhaps your current position is due to their… machinations?"

Renji blinked blankly at him before realization hit. He had fallen asleep at the bar, he remembered that well enough and considering he _was_ with Kira and Hisagi, it could only mean that they placed him in the tree… The damn asses, he was so going to-

His train of thought was cut off, "You do not know the reason behind this?" Renji shook his head, more panicked and confused than before when a smile, a full smile that he had never seen before but looked so goddamned beautiful - not that he would ever say it to his captain – appeared.

"Would you like me to tell you?" And then Renji descended further into panic and fear as the smile turned devious and shit, he was so going to die now. Even so, he nodded because this was his captain and technically, there were very little limits to what he could do to Renji at that point.

Byakuya smirked, "Perhaps it would be best to show you. Untie yourself and come into my office." The redhead blinked and did so as quickly as he could, clutching the rope as he freed his leg and jumping though the window that his captain vacated.

Without any warning, he was pushed against the wall next to the window and found himself unable to speak as the softest pair of lips he'd ever felt pressed up against his. Moments later, he could feel a hard and defined body press against his, a tongue darting out to touch his lips and he melted, pressing his hands against the wall in an attempt to both keep himself up and his hands away from his captain.

Hands came up to run into his hair and with a flick of a wrist, the hair band was broken and the red hair fell loosely around the shaking body.

Finally, finally, after what seemed like eternity, his lips were released and he began to breathe harshly, staring idiotically into his captain's dark, dark eyes.

Dark, dark eyes that for the first time displayed amusement and tempered satisfaction.

"Tai… chou?" Renji stuttered and found he could not say anymore as he watched his captain lower his arms to embrace his waist. Only he wasn't actually embracing him, for a moment later, he brought his hand back and waved a piece of paper in his face. The vice-captain went cross-eyed in an attempt to read the paper, but before he could, Kuchiki-taichou threw it away onto the table.

"You can thank your friends for this later." And before Renji could even begin to understand what that could've meant, Ku- Byakuya, lovely, beautiful, striking Bykuya raised his head and kissed him again: this time more passionate and possessive than he could have ever believed him capable of.

And as Byakuya's pale hands slid into the yukata Renji had worn last night, he uttered a delicious moan and at last brought his own hands up to grasp at his captain' shoulders. He slid them up past his neck and into the dark hair, groaning again at the unnatural silkiness of the strands.

Before he could descend into even further bliss, Byakuya brought his lips away – eliciting a groan of disappointment from the fiery man – and near his ear, whispering huskily, "I do use the moisturizer Rukia gave me. I'm glad you noticed," before biting his earlobe and lowering his lips further to suckle the tanned and taut neck displayed before him.

Renji spared one more moment to wonder what that meant, almost hit a realization and succumbed to Byakuya's ministrations, bringing his hands down to clutch the captain's robe.

Thinking was meant for other times, right now, feeling seemed more important.

**Owari**

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**QY- **I feel so proud. Make me proud. Review! Haha. Joke, joke. But not really. XD 

Written: 10/1/07 10:30-12am


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